Megaera's ROCK BAND
by TheNinthCircleofHell
Summary: Our favourite Goddess of Vengeance wants to make something of herself, and tries getting a gig together. There are probably Dark Dawn spoilers. There's probably one in the very first paragraph. It probably doesn't have much to do with the actual story.


**Megaera's ROCK BAND  
**

* * *

"So, you sneaky bastard, I've heard you've gone and knocked up some poor girl since we've last met. What was her name? Veriti, wasn't it?" asked the Wise One.

"She came onto me..." cried Alex.

"Fangirl?"

"Yeah..."

"There there," replied the Wise One, placing a reassuring arm(?) around Alex's shoulders.

"Who came onto who now?" asked Isaac, entering the room along with his new badass longcoat and beard.

"I told her to stop, but she wouldn't listen," Alex sobbed.

"... who are you?" Isaac inquired.

Alex looked at Isaac strangely before lifting up his mask.

"GASP. IT'S ALEX," gasped Isaac, gasping due to his extreme surprise.

The Wise One facepalmed(?).

"Now, enjoy the fic!" exclaimed Isaac, obnoxiously pressing his face up against the fourth wall.

* * *

"I'm bored."

Megaera was sprawled across her bed, absent-mindedly fiddling with one of her oversized swords. She was quite bored. Yes indeed.

"Hey Cybele, wanna start a rock band?"

"Yeah, sure, why not."

And so the plot began.

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"Charon, pleaaaase?"

"No."

"But you're like a skeleton and full demonic and with a big ass scythe you'll be like a rocker's wet dream. C'mon, you won't even have to play anything. Just stand in the background or something and make the band look awesome..."

"Don't you have other duties you should be occupying yourself with?"

"You're no fun," muttered Megaera, pouting.

"You should stop bugging Charon, Megaera; he's been really busy lately. You know, with the Grave Eclipse and death everywhere down in Weyard?" remarked Atalanta, inviting herself into the conversation. She had been passing by but had felt it to be her civic duty to stop Megaera from harassing the rather important ferryman.

"Then will you join us?"

"Join you? What are you doing?"

"Starting a rock band."

Atalanta raised an eyebrow.

"Do you even know how to play rock?"

"We're getting the band together. We can just wing it later," Megaera replied, her utterly groundless confidence in herself and others displaying a naivety an immortal goddess really shouldn't possess.

"I've seen you play a violin," commented Cybele. "Join us."

"Violin really isn't a rock instrument, you know?"

"Doesn't matter!" Megaera exclaimed. "We'll just paint it black and spike up your hair or something."

"... you can at least play music_,_ right?"

"We'll find out soon enough," replied Megaera, grinning. "Now if we can't have Charon, our fourth member needs to be... Catastrophe!"

Megaera ran off to find more band members.

"H-hey! You can't just ask someone like him something that trivial!" shouted Atalanta, running after her along with Cybele. "Geez..."

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"I never actually said I'd join you guys."

"You're still following us," pointed out Cybele.

Atalanta gave her a dirty look.

"I'm just making sure Megaera doesn't do anything inappropriate," she muttered.

"We're here!" proclaimed Megaera. "Phew, smells like destruction."

"How can something smell like destruction?"

"Burning flesh, smoke, stuff like that."

"I see..."

"What else would Catastrophe be doing?" Cybele queried.

Atalanta shuddered. "Can we turn back?"

"Hell no! Catastrophe is ours!" declared Megaera.

_I do not belong to anybody._

A dark presence made itself known in the minds of the three goddesses. Atalanta froze.

"Yes yes, you're your own person, sorry if I offended you, Catastrophe," replied Megaera, idly waving the issue away with her hand. "Anyway! How would you like to join us? We're forming our own rock band."

Atalanta frowned, whipping her hair back over her shoulders. "I never said I was..."

She trailed off as a dark, ominous mist began forming around the trio. A few moments later, the embodiment of destruction himself stood before them. SFX lightning flashed in the background for added effect.

"A rock band?"

"Yeah."

"... I'd love to. I've only ever played an electric guitar by myself. It's very lonely."

"W-WHAT?" exclaimed Atalanta at the utterly unexpected response.

_You have a problem with that?_

"N-not at all, Catastrophe. Y-you can turn the ominous mental voice off..." stuttered Atalanta. She had never really talked to the dark, armoured deity before, preferring to avoid crossing paths with the fellow Jupiter embodiment.

"Can you show us what you can play?" asked Cybele.

"I'd be happy to. I admit to being kind of nervous, though. I've never played for anybody else before."

Catastrophe raised his arms towards the trio and tensed up. Dark mists spewed forth from his armour. The smell of fire and brimstone filled the air.

"Come forth!" proclaimed Catastrophe, with what may be his eyes beneath his helm flashing red.

Sinister gusts of wind swirled around the destruction god. Small bolts of lightning shot from his palms and the mist condensed, forming a guitar made of swirling black, dark purple and blood red. A white pick formed between his armoured fingers. The wide end of the pick looked like a grinning skull.

"Dramatic," remarked Cybele.

Megaera's eyes sparkled.

"SO COOL!" she exclaimed, pumping her fists. "Play for us!"

Catastrophe, enjoying the attention, consented and brought the pick down upon the guitar.

_Pure epicness_ ensued.

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The stage was set.

It had been rather easy for Cybele to raise an earthy platform for their band, 'Bloody Vengeance' (Megaera had insisted on the name).

The lights were dimmed.

In fact, it was Iris who had dimmed Sol for this very moment. The Goddess of Rainbows herself had taken an interest in Megaera's musical endeavour. The Guide of Souls had thought it would be grand fun, one way or another.

The audience of various gods, goddesses, ethereal dragons, whimsical spirits and deceased souls held their breath.

Megaera's wild plans had often caused a lot of trouble in the Weyard Aether. That wasn't to say her ideas of making the Aether more interesting weren't amusing. It was in fact the reason why so many spirits had gathered to watch.

"It's time," whispered Megaera. "It all comes down to this, guys. We start on the count of three. Ready?"

Atalanta sighed and lifted her violin. In the end, Megaera wouldn't take no for an answer.

"One... Two... Three! Rock OUT!"

There was a burst of fire from either side of the stage, special effects courtesy of Tiamat, and the stage was bathed in light. Megaera raised the mike to her mouth and began her rather horrendous singing.

Not that anybody heard.

Due to Atalanta's tampering, the only working microphones even vaguely close to an instrument surrounded Catastrophe and his electric guitar. Catastrophe, the one man army that she considered able to carry their entire band through their concert by himself and lead them to, well, actual success. And she was right.

The host of ethereal beings gasped as _their minds were blown. _It took a full minute of recovery before the first soul realised what he was listening to was _music._

The crowd began cheering wildly.

_They love me. They really love me! _thought Megaera. She happened to be a goddess so amazingly tone deaf she had not realised her voice was not even in the song being played.

Things were going amazingly.

From her seat of honour, Iris applauded.

Ulysses had already passed out from intensive raving and was being trampled onto the floor.

The audience adored them. Most had come for laughs, but they had discovered real talent, albeit only within a single guitarist.

And then...

Catastrophe vanished. His electric guitar crashed to the floor before vanishing in a burst of dark energies.

"Oh. He got summoned," commented Cybele.

And with Catastrophe no longer around, the audience realised how much Megaera and her band truly sucked.

"W-what? Why are they all laughing at us?"

"Without Catastrophe, you're voice is pretty audible, Megaera," Cybele explained.

"And since Catastrophe was the only one of us who could actually rock... yeah, we've lost the game," remarked Atalanta.

Catastrophe reappeared.

"Forgive me, but one must respond to a summons. May we please start again–"

Catastrophe vanished again.

"I think someone in Weyard's fighting Dullahan," commented Cybele.

Atalanta yawned. "Forget it. I'm going to go home–"

"This calls for REVENGE!" screamed Megaera, vanishing in a burst of flame.

Atalanta facepalmed. "Oh god, here we go again..."

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"Man, Crucible is such a bitchy move," grumbled Tyrell while getting healed by Rief.

The group of adepts had finally left the Crossbone Isle cavern. Karis stretched, glad to be out in the sun again.

"But we finally have the Iris summon!" she grinned. "We're unstoppable!"

"Yeah, let's burn some Chimera ass!"

"Matthew, we're not meant to know about that yet," Sveta reminded him.

Suddenly, an immense sword soared down from the heavens and plunged into the ground at Sveta's feet. She shrieked and jumped backwards.

Three more equally massive blades followed, impaling themselves into the islet and surrounding the adepts on all sides.

"What's happening?" yelled Eoleo.

There was a burst of intense heat, and the goddess Megaera appeared before the adepts.

The fury in her eyes was palpable.

"I think she is angry," said Himi.

"Yes, thank you Himi," Tyrell muttered.

Echoing around the adepts with an omniscient-goddess-type voice, Megaera spoke, her words seething with barely contained anger.

"It was you idiots who summoned Catastrophe, right?"

"Uh... yeah?" replied Tyrell.

"YOU DIE!" she screamed.

**SECRET BOSS MEGAERA UNLOCKED** **Battle music starts playing**

_Matthew:_ What the hell's going on?

_Amiti: _How should I know? Just hit her with your Sol blade.

**Secret Boss Megaera attacks**

**Tyrell flies back in an explosion of fire**

**Megaera's attack rises by 200**

**Tyrell gets up**

_Tyrell: _Is that all? I thought you were like a goddess of Weyard.

_Megaera: _Ha. Fool. Unlike you mortals, I can stack my attack boosts as many times as I want.

_Tyrell:_ T-that's impossible! Talk about a game breaking move!

**Matthew attacks**

**Megaera recoils upon the impact of the flaming meteor**

_Megaera:_ Tsk. I despise Megiddo.

**Secret Boss Megaera attacks**

_Matthew: _Argh...

**Matthew staggers back, barely blocking the blow**

**Megaera's attack rises by 300**

_Matthew:_ Guys, this is crazy! She just keeps getting stronger!

**Secret Boss Megaera attacks**

_Karis:_ No... way...

**Karis is downed**

**Megaera's attack rises by 400**

_Himi:_ This is bad.

_Tyrell:_ This is messed up!

**Rief uses **Break****

_Megaera:_ ... crap.

(Up in the heavens)

**Atalanta facepalms**

_Atalanta: _This happens every time.

**Megaera gets the stuffing beaten out of her**

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"Yeah!" hollered Tyrell. "We defeated a god!"

Everyone exchanged hi-fives.

"That was good," said Himi.

"Seriously, Himi? Don't you have anything more productive to say?" asked Tyrell.

"Himi joined so late in the game, she was given no character development whatsoever," remarked Matthew, leaning quite heavily on the fourth wall. "Give her a break."

"You shouldn't talk about character development, _Mr. Silent Protagonist_."

"..."

*angry face*

* * *

Since I have absolutely no idea what the world of the Weyard gods would look like and considering I have not a drop of creativity in my blood, I basically skipped out on describing their world during the fic. That, and I was feeling lazy.

Man, I always feel lazy.

Life is good~


End file.
